I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
