Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
