I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
