the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize