There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
