That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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