I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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