If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
