I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
