somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
