On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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