So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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