It's Friday. Sex?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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