why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
