I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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