you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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