Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize