the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
