don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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