you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
