how do flat chested girls get laid?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
