And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
