Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize