Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
