I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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