I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
