I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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