for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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