You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
