I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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