Define "chronic" masturbator.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
