6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize