Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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