would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
