I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
