hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
