I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
