And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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