Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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