belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
they're like a gay fantastic four
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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