so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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