Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
