Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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