She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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