question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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