she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
