I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
