Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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