Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
