Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
