so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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