The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
