i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
