Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
