So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
