ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
